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common mistakes

feminism doesn't aim at oppressing anyone, it just aims at giving everyone individual freedom.

we don't live in an equal society. theoretically, we all have the same rights. but please don't hesitate to ask any given single mother, colored or disabled person for their opinion and a description of their daily lives regarding the topic. or google gender pay gap.

feminists dont just want rights for women, we want them for everyone. like, guys are just as qualified to raise kids as women. same goes for trans, queer, whatever. no need for any awesome dad to complain about not raising your offspring; the 90% of single parents that are female would happily share the workload.
we don't think every ballet dancer is gay. same goes for hairdressers. and if they are, we don't care. we don't judge people by their ability to behave according to standard, we judge them on whether or not they are a good person.

we dont wanna make everyone the same. it is, au contraire, society that wants that. but oddly enough, the ones wanting to give every child the opportunity to become the person they wanna be are being perceived as the oppressors. it's quite funny how an autocratic system turns you into an aggressor of you try to tackle the problem. ^^

did you know that children as young as 3y old have learned that a broom belongs to a picture of a woman? this fact drove me so mad, i'm still waiting for all the angry witches to come out of the closet.

78% of all women in indonesia agree that it's ok for a husband to beat his wife if she doesn't wanna have sex with him. this coming from a country where almost a quarter of all guys are rapists. no surprises here. yet, in western countries, people argue that we have a genetic disposition to behave in certain ways. so, are you telling me that having a kid with an indonesian guy, even if he was born in the west, would give a woman a 23% chance of raising a rapist? or do you think the beauty and weakness of the indonesian girls was genetic and the origin of the problem?

you see where this goes, any argument claiming a dead-sure genetic disposition for certain behavior fails to see certain aspects, such as society, education and individual freedom of choice. basically, it dehumanizes is us on a very deep, personal and emotional level.

when people say things like: women are like this, men are like that, they're actively excluding and dissing others. maybe you never thought of it this way, but, for example, by telling me that women were horrible in politics, weak, non-competitive and not meant for leadership, you're assuming i don't have those skills. secondly, once you realize that i in fact need those qualities for my daily work, you're, implicitly, saying i was not a woman. hell, i've had truck drivers patting me on the back, saying i should've been a guy. i'm 1.71m tall and hardly weigh 53kg due to a thyroid condition; i'm not exactly the security personnel type. still, my natural non-emotional way of handling non-personal issues, such as work or administrative stuff, leads to 100% of all people writing my name down as 'alexander' - with me standing in front of them, long-haired hippie girl in 3 colorful skirts.. no kidding.

to link stereotypes in looks to stereotypes in behavior is horrible; to have mismatching looks and personality is a personal disaster. yet this again only accounts for our western societies.
i imagine the female fighters from the israeli army would fail to understand anyone's claim of women being the weaker gender.

i really wish for a society without those binary gender codes. there are so many among us that neither on a hormone nor physical nor social interaction level belong to any of those extremes.
of course you need to put people and their actions into perspective in relation to the world. just, like all clichés, everyday sexism robs us of the opportunity to have any real interaction with someone. also, who knows, you might enjoy wearing pink skirts - took me 20 years though.

everyday life gets more complicated than it needs to be when you make all assumptions based on binary gender code. for example, many women underdress if they want to go food-shopping in peace. on the other hand, some of us use their bodies as a means of getting things... such as money, holiday trips or power. the constant trade of beauty and power turns dating and life in general into a huge maelstrom leading exactly nowhere. we're creating more of what the world doesn't need: shallow human interactions based on stereotypes most of us are struggling to fulfill.

making a general distinction between people has never turned out right in all of human history. we were able to overcome the difference between the nobility and the working poor, we make an effort to eliminate racism, imperialism, and all other sorts of despotic regimes; we should be able to fix this one ;)
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