Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

November 25 2017

brain-freedom

merry xmas or whatever

praise the universe; the season of love and compassion has arrived. fittingly, my friend maria - no kidding - is expecting.

what she kinda wasnt expecting is that being a future single mom doesnt leave you with an endless parade of babyshowers and bliss.

she knew she opted for the tough road when she decided to go through with the pregnancy on her own. we were expecting lewd comments about the missing dad in the picture. a shitload of administrative work, endless visits to the doctor.


reality has bitten us in the arse, though. being a future white, single mom of a black baby, with an uncle with downs syndrome and two good friends with various ailments, seems to be THE prime example to show misogyny, racism and ableism all in one go.

so, here we go indeed. on the way, there is her female doctor, saying that if she suspected the kid might have the same challenges ahead as her uncle or her close friends it was generally a 'normal' risk and she didnt see any point in letting my friend have the according tests to figure it out - even though she would've had to pay for them out of her own pocket anyway. saying that if that scared her so much, maybe she shouldnt have become pregnant in the first place. - she was 4 months into the pregnancy at the time; abortion not even being an option anymore.


then there's other friends and her customers (she works self-employed in a medical profession) - saying they ofc they mean well and, you know, nothing against the baby an all, but with the dad not being around and society being like it is, if it maybe wasnt better to abort the kid - its black, after all, and who would wish such a life on anyone (!). also, there'd be plenty of time to have other (white??) kids in the future. - i could now argue that even jesus wasnt white but then again, i dont rly feel like arguing any of that shit mentioned above.


next: family in eastern germany. as some of you might've heard, varying on he region, eastern germany has around 20-40% voters of right-wing parties. i warned my friend about moving back there, for fear of what the neighbours might think, say or do. what i didnt calculate when making an estimation on the best place for her to raise a kid, was parts of her own family calling the baby in her womb a 'nigger' and a 'bimbo' (!).

on top of all that, bodyshaming a pregnant woman seems to be a quite common thing; especially, when she was curvy to begin with. but seriously, what sorta cold-hearted arsehole calls an future mom wobbly, fat, and having a lack of self-control - especially since she has been doing nothing but working and losing weight ever since she got the good news.


i am truly at a loss for words here. i dont know where to begin to criticize this, idk how to fix any of this either - it seems so embedded into peoples minds, with all of them actually believing they were saying the right things and meaning well.

i wish folks would take a moment, next time they wanna offer advice, to consider five things:

1. was the advice asked for?
2. do i have all information to see the entire picture?
3. could my advice be followed-up on? (like, telling a woman to abort when she is over the legal limit to do so sure aint gonna help anyone!)
4. could my advice potentially be hurtful and if so, could i put it any other way? 
5. is it rly any of my business?

if any of the answers to those five question is no, i am hereby kindly asking you to shut the fuck up. for yours and everyones sake, hell, for heavens sake, even.

merry xmas or whatever. have a good one :)


October 05 2017

brain-freedom

so, 'the left' has been wondering why it cant reach 'the working class' since the 19th century.
in more than a hundred years, this mystery hasnt been solved.

well.
maybe its got to do with a few of these:

even tho i went to uni, i never felt quite right there. even when i had a post-graduate job while studying for a bachelors degree. it was the classmates who made fun of my piss-poor lunch 'do you wanna eat all of this alone'?
it was some other student who, while i was campaigning against study fees, said that '500 euro per semester is nothing, rly' before she drove off in her brand-new volvo, that her granddad had gifted her (hey, whats 80k for a car anyway....).

it was the professor who ruined my masters degree in the end, when she refused to let me into one of the last classes on adult education - because i couldnt afford to buy her book (!). i still remember that day, i left my uni crying and now that i am sitting here, remembering, i still do.

it was the years of being a student with a handicap - who never got any help; instead i had able-bodied folks coming to my house, to help them with their assignments - for food. they have since all long-finished their degrees, while i gotta keep fighting.

its the professor who discriminated against me for standing up to nazis, telling me that the npd was 'a legitimate democratic party' - while firing me on the spot and taking all of my funding in the blink of an eye, for trying to stand up for whats right.

the same professor discriminating against me during my masters exams, for still disliking a leftie - and getting away with it, even tho i am crippled, was traumatized by a murder-suicide at work 2 weeks before said exam and didnt have any alternative to delay the exam - for financial and legal reasons; i was facing unemployment and wouldnt have been allowed to keep studying on unemployment leave.

its the 6 months i spent in a womens shelter during my studies, where 1 friend came to visit - and 2 relatives. nobody even cared where or how i was living, how i was doing at uni; in a field that deals ENTIRELY with human behaviour and social structures.

its the five years i got my groceries from the food bank, despite having crazy workdays, studying, delivering pizza and being the head of the university paper (till i left cause one of the writers felt the need to harrass and grope me and nobody cared enough to get rid of him).

- these days, its the lifestyle. this nonchalant presentation of borrowed and stolen riches; the pompous foods and holidays you show off without even thinking how hurtful this might be to someone who never did enough wrong to deserve to have - nothing, rly, in comparison.

it is living in a city full of opportunities but no ways to get there, cause all the roads have already been taken by someone with a bigger portfolio of privilege.

most of all, tho, its the lacking reflection. this kindless and thoughtless consumption, while the rest of the world has, on average, 5 dollars a day to spend.

i sometimes wish i hadnt started studying; its not even been a rocky road; it was like having to carve it out of a mountain, to have others walk your path while you are taking a break from exhaustion.

these days, i am almost ashamed to be part of the 'upper class' on paper while being working class in principle and lifestyle, cause really, i get why 'the working poor' despise what your way of living represents:
that its OK for you to have cocktails in rooftop-gardens, while the rest of the world slaves away satisfying your needs.

who ever thought we would live in a world where folks are proud to work at google and other places, where the highest-paid workers dont only get an overly large wage - but tons of benefits besides.

benefits, as anyone who has studied social science should know, were meant to rid people of their disadvantages - so, why isnt it the cafeteria workers and janitors at google who get food and healthcare for free? and any wage that is non-liveable is a dying-wage, if we are honest. (if you dont believe me, check life-expectancy charts for poor and rich folks)

it feels like anyone with an income over 10k/month cant be bothered to take care of themselves anymore; where they can waste an entire 'normal peoples salary' on a juice-package pressing machine, get an uber while their driver probably sleeps in the car during shifts and even have their friggin toilet-paper home-delivered in 'cases of emergency'.

the only emergency i see here is the current state of our global 'elite'.

the same elite that starts start-ups to 'save the world' and then spends all of its funding on pricey dinners for the business angels, an endless parade of flights for all developers (cause, hell, why not travel like crazy with global warming and, wait, ONLINE-CONFERENCES), and travel-expenses per day that could feed anyone else for an entire month.

its folks taking my idea of a 'change-conference' outta my hands, to turn it into an event for rich, white, mostly male IT newcomers, while charging 16 euro per day per person for community-kitchen style food alone. (!)

like, rly, everyone who ever studied and wonders why the working class sometimes has it in for them - kindly take a look at what your actions say - they are usually way louder than your words.

November 25 2017

brain-freedom

merry xmas or whatever

praise the universe; the season of love and compassion has arrived. fittingly, my friend maria - no kidding - is expecting.

what she kinda wasnt expecting is that being a future single mom doesnt leave you with an endless parade of babyshowers and bliss.

she knew she opted for the tough road when she decided to go through with the pregnancy on her own. we were expecting lewd comments about the missing dad in the picture. a shitload of administrative work, endless visits to the doctor.


reality has bitten us in the arse, though. being a future white, single mom of a black baby, with an uncle with downs syndrome and two good friends with various ailments, seems to be THE prime example to show misogyny, racism and ableism all in one go.

so, here we go indeed. on the way, there is her female doctor, saying that if she suspected the kid might have the same challenges ahead as her uncle or her close friends it was generally a 'normal' risk and she didnt see any point in letting my friend have the according tests to figure it out - even though she would've had to pay for them out of her own pocket anyway. saying that if that scared her so much, maybe she shouldnt have become pregnant in the first place. - she was 4 months into the pregnancy at the time; abortion not even being an option anymore.


then there's other friends and her customers (she works self-employed in a medical profession) - saying they ofc they mean well and, you know, nothing against the baby an all, but with the dad not being around and society being like it is, if it maybe wasnt better to abort the kid - its black, after all, and who would wish such a life on anyone (!). also, there'd be plenty of time to have other (white??) kids in the future. - i could now argue that even jesus wasnt white but then again, i dont rly feel like arguing any of that shit mentioned above.


next: family in eastern germany. as some of you might've heard, varying on he region, eastern germany has around 20-40% voters of right-wing parties. i warned my friend about moving back there, for fear of what the neighbours might think, say or do. what i didnt calculate when making an estimation on the best place for her to raise a kid, was parts of her own family calling the baby in her womb a 'nigger' and a 'bimbo' (!).

on top of all that, bodyshaming a pregnant woman seems to be a quite common thing; especially, when she was curvy to begin with. but seriously, what sorta cold-hearted arsehole calls an future mom wobbly, fat, and having a lack of self-control - especially since she has been doing nothing but working and losing weight ever since she got the good news.


i am truly at a loss for words here. i dont know where to begin to criticize this, idk how to fix any of this either - it seems so embedded into peoples minds, with all of them actually believing they were saying the right things and meaning well.

i wish folks would take a moment, next time they wanna offer advice, to consider five things:

1. was the advice asked for?
2. do i have all information to see the entire picture?
3. could my advice be followed-up on? (like, telling a woman to abort when she is over the legal limit to do so sure aint gonna help anyone!)
4. could my advice potentially be hurtful and if so, could i put it any other way? 
5. is it rly any of my business?

if any of the answers to those five question is no, i am hereby kindly asking you to shut the fuck up. for yours and everyones sake, hell, for heavens sake, even.

merry xmas or whatever. have a good one :)


Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl